Ann Pettifor

The UK in EU relegation shock! Blames opposition & League

No one likes to see their team relegated. Reading fans after defeat: courtesy

I am back in London…only to  be greeted by more bad economic news. Not only is unemployment rocketing, with youth unemployment hitting more than 1 million. But now the UK appears well down the Eurozone GDP League at third from bottom – just above Greece and Cyprus!

UK team coach Georgie “Best” Osborne blamed the opposition and tournament organisers for the UK’s shocking performance over the last year. “We felt our defensive austerity tactics would pay dividends against more stimulated opponents” he complained. “But then they all started to use the same negative growth tactics and that gave them an unfair advantage over us. But the other teams can and must learn a great deal from Team UK’s recent performance” he is reported as saying.

The UK Youth Team, as mentioned above, has also hit a bad patch. Under-24s coach Chris Grayling likewise blames these poor results on other European teams.

“Our latest results show just how much our team’s confidence is being affected by the crisis in the Euro League,” he said. “Our European partners must take urgent action to stabilise the position.”

Meanwhile German coach Angela Deutschmerkel told her home fans that the EU League’s rulebook needed to be tightened up, and hinted that some teams might be expelled from the league altogether if they did not accept her proposed rule changes.

Tempted to fly back to Africa…..


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